1st IVF Cycle - The Outcome

I wasn't able to hold-off and not test. Husband was out of town and left to my own devices, of course I tested! The day before my beta, the home test was negative. The morning of my beta, it was also negative.
I went to the clinic for the blood draw and left still feeling a tad hopeful. My husband got home early that morning so we were together on the couch, waiting for the call.
It was Negative.
I was able to hold it together while on the call, and then hubby and I had a nice long, sobbing, stuffy-nosed cry. I had my husband call and text those who we had shared this process with to let them know. I think calling his mom was the hardest call to make.
The rest of the day we just hung out and didn't do much. I made dinner that night, chicken and dumplings, my comfort food.
I was at work the next day, focusing on work. Somehow, this major thing in our life just happened, and I'm able to function at work.
On Monday morning August 18th, the doctor called. He wants to sit down with us face-to-face and review our case. We're scheduled to see him this Thursday August 28th. I also made an appointment to see a psychologist. My first session is tomorrow, Tuesday, August 26th.
As for how the rest of my week went post negative news: I had a breakdown on Tuesday the 19th. My period started and I had to go to the store to get supplies. While at the store, I ran into no less than 3 pregnant women. That was a rough day.
On Wednesday August 20th, I woke up at about 4am with severe abdominal cramping, and the immediate urge to go to the bathroom. I had the chills and a low grade fever. I made it into work and dealt with the cramping and avoided the bathroom because I didn't eat anything all day. For added fun, had a splitting headache.
Ended up working from home for part of the day on Thursday, and again, didn't eat anything on Friday for fear of upsetting the tummy while at work.
By Sunday the 24th, I was marginally better. I still had the headaches though.
I've read online that estrogen withdrawal can cause headaches. I'll find out this Thursday if my stomach issues were directly tied to coming off of all medicines.
I'll post again after our discussion with our doctor. We will also be going over next steps.
I feel like seeing a psychologist is very important for my mental health. I need some tools to help weather this infertility storm. We're obviously devastated and need to work through all of these feelings.
Stay tuned...

From Trigger Shot to Retrieval to Transfer: Our Unexpected Adventure

Friday August 1^st: Follicles are finally looking like they should. I’ve been on stimulation medications since Sunday July 20^th, that’s 13 days of stimulation medication. Thought I would only be needing 8-10 days of medicine.  Four (self-pay) prescription refills later and here we are, Trigger day!

The clinic calls me to let me know to administer the trigger shot @ 6:30 PM exactly. A little air bubble here, a  little “ I think I can get more out of it, let me try again” there, and wham, bam, shot given at 6:33 PM.

Saturday August 2^nd: Bloodwork at clinic to make sure I gave myself the shot, and fess up and tell them about my time flub. Turns out a few minutes off is no big deal.  Blood work results confirmed I’m not an idiot and we’re set for Sunday 6:30 AM retrieval.  I’m told to arrive 30 minutes before procedure.  We relax Saturday night and watch a movie. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.

Sunday August 3^rd: Retrieval! Traffic was a breeze seeing as we were on the road at 5:35 am on a Sunday. Hubby made his deposit at home since we live so close to the clinic. Less stress for him that way.
I had to pay separately for the anesthesia and I wished I could pay based on service received. I’m not new to anesthesia but this is the first time that the anesthesiologist made me bleed from the iv b/c some plastic cap wasn’t screwed on, and then didn’t use any lidocaine to prevent the anesthesia from burning as it entered my arm. I wanted to call her a devil woman, but I was too busy putting on a tough face and then I was out.  At least she didn’t mess that up.

Coming out of anesthesia was easy and I felt just a little tired. Probably because I woke up that morning at 4:45am. As for nerves, I wasn’t nervous at all until I walked into the doctors office. This was just one step in our journey to baby.

The report came in, and they got 14 eggs. Waa Hoo!

Went home and rested the entire day. Felt some cramping but Tylenol and a heating pad helped. Started taking the antibiotic doxycycline, a steroid, and tomorrow I start the progesterone gel suppository. Fun!

Monday August 4^th: Work from home. Pain not too bad in the morning. Clinic called and said of the 14 that were retrieved, 12 were mature, and they used ICSI on all of them, and 5 have fertilized. Not what I was hoping but we’re not out yet! We have 5 beautiful embryos.

Monday evening: pain seems to be worse tonight.  I’m a little sweaty and I have abdominal pain. I think it’s probably constipation and so I take some medicine, apply a heating pad and go lay down. Back to work the next day.

Tueday August 5^th: Wake up feeling much better. Clinic calls in the morning. 5 still hanging on, but one not looking so good. Has 30% fragmentation.  What's fragmentation? Think of it like a cookie, that's got a lot of crumbs. Not good in embryo world. But under 25% and it might still be ok. We’re still looking at 5 day transfer she says. I have (3) two cell embryos and one of those  has the 30% fragmentation, (1) three cell embryo with 20% fragmentation, and (1) four cell embryo.

Wednesday August 6^th: Clinic calls in the morning. Overnight we lost the three cell and 2 of the two cells. Have a nice looking 8 cell and a 4 cell with fragmentation remaining. My doctor wants to move up my transfer from day 5 to day 3 and transfer 2. This whole time we were thinking we would make it to day 5 and here we are, on day three being asked to transfer 2. This was never in our game plan. Would we be ok with twins? We have nothing left to freeze and so we would have to do this all over again anyway if it worked with one and so this way we would get our little miracles in one cycle. Hopefully.

So I have to call out of work and start chugging some water for the transfer. They want us in there @ 1030am for an 11am transfer.

No medicine is given for the transfer. After changing into the appropriate attire, and my husband in a one-size-fits-all except for him gown, we meet with the surgical nurse, the embryologist, and the doctor before going back for the procedure. I get a picture of the embryos. The 8 cell looks textbook perfect, and the four cell has some catching up and some fragmentation (15-20%)

As we’re in the procedure room waiting on the transfer, our little 4 cell became a 6 cell and was looking better. It’s over before just as soon as it began, and I have to lay on the table for 10 minutes. With a full bladder. So I’m laying on the table, crying because I know that the embryos are now inside of me, and having to pee so bad. My husband finds this adorable somehow.

As we’re leaving the clinic's parking lot, he says, you know, I really hope it’s twins, so we can forever tease them about who was the embryo slacker. I love my husband.

We get home, and it’s 2 days of bed rest for this girl.

I’m officially in the Two Week Wait and PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise).  It’s not really two weeks, it’s actually only 11 days. Beta test is Sunday August 17th.  I’m not looking for pregnancy symptoms because I’ve been pumped full of all kinds of drugs. In addition to the progesterone, I’m also taking estrogen tablets.

I've been listening to some women who have done this a few times and I'm going to take their advice. I’m going to enjoy this time, and speak to my belly, “grow babies grow!” and know that I’m the furthest I’ve ever been in our years of trying to get pregnant.

Have a great weekend!

 

Medication Update

Worried that meds will hurt? Menopur burns a touch, but then you get used to it. Ganirelex/Cetrotide you can definitely feel for the first few days, made my skin blotchy as well. And then you get used to it. On my last night of Cetrotide, it didn’t burn or get blotchy. I think my belly was so full of meds it didn’t matter!

As for the HCG shot, that was the only one that I got even the slightest bruise from, and was sensitive the next day.

Great tip from my nurse: Since the HCG shot is timed, get the darn thing ready 15 minutes before you need it. Unlike the menopur, it takes about 5 minutes for the solution to dissolve the powder.