Telling 'Mom'

It's been a few days since my last post so here's what I've been up to:
Saturday May 24th, my mother-in-law(MIL) arrived for a week-long visit and my husband and I are about to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. I recently posted about our timeline on who we would share our IVF news with. You can find that post here.
After further discussion we thought it best to tell my MIL while she was here visiting.


We decided we would do it after breakfast this past Sunday morning.  I was a little nervous before we told her. I started it off by saying that no we weren't pregnant and here's why. I gave her the gist of the story and there were some tears. Overall, she was happy that we shared this news with her and is here for us. I told her I know it's a lot to take in and if she had questions while she was here to just ask them, but when she leaves, we need to set boundaries. Boundaries for us and for her. You see, she's a worrier. Big Time! Her son is her only child and only focus. We asked her to trust us when we say we will come to her with updates and we understand that sharing this crazy time in our lives means that she's now a part of this process.

I think it's important to set boundaries. I don't want every conversation centered around our infertility. It's already something I think about every minute of every day, and we will make sure that we provide updates as we progress with everything.


The material that the clinic gave us on Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) has come in handy. I gave my MIL the packet on IVF w/ ICSI and she's been reading it. I have been asking her if she has any questions. Kind of opening the door for conversations.


It's been really nice to be able to speak openly about it at home.
We're going to be telling just a few of our closest friends soon.


Side note: STILL waiting for AF to get here. I'm looking forward to moving forward with everything.


I'll post again when I have something more substantial to report on. Hope you have a great week. :)

Mother's Day

This Sunday is Mother's Day, A holiday that has never bothered me until recently. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, and all the moms in this world, it's just hard right now.


I would love to come in late to work because it was Mommy Tea Time at my child's school. That was the gem I heard this morning while in the kitchen at work. My tolerance has gotten pretty low for these kinds of stories, and it's because I suffer from an super unattractive personality trait right now: Jealously. It's not a feeling I often have and I wish I didn't feel this way.(And obviously I didn't let this emotion get the best of me.  I said 'awwwwww' like a champ and quickly dashed out of the kitchen). 


I truly am happy for those out there who are fortunate enough to become parents. I just wish I was one of you...getting the macaroni necklace or the cutely decorated potted plant for Mother's Day or even nothing at all, but just spending time with my child on a workday morning.


My jealously comes and goes in waves, and I'm not consumed by it, but it's there.


And of course I'm still very hopeful right now...but what if our IVF doesn't work? I read a lot of stories of women whose first IVF cycle failed. I know that's a real possibility but I can't think about that right now. I don't need to mix my fear with my jealousy.


I hope I'm not alone with these feelings.


I pray that I'm filled with another feeling next Mother's Day: Joy.