Telling 'Mom'

It's been a few days since my last post so here's what I've been up to:
Saturday May 24th, my mother-in-law(MIL) arrived for a week-long visit and my husband and I are about to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. I recently posted about our timeline on who we would share our IVF news with. You can find that post here.
After further discussion we thought it best to tell my MIL while she was here visiting.


We decided we would do it after breakfast this past Sunday morning.  I was a little nervous before we told her. I started it off by saying that no we weren't pregnant and here's why. I gave her the gist of the story and there were some tears. Overall, she was happy that we shared this news with her and is here for us. I told her I know it's a lot to take in and if she had questions while she was here to just ask them, but when she leaves, we need to set boundaries. Boundaries for us and for her. You see, she's a worrier. Big Time! Her son is her only child and only focus. We asked her to trust us when we say we will come to her with updates and we understand that sharing this crazy time in our lives means that she's now a part of this process.

I think it's important to set boundaries. I don't want every conversation centered around our infertility. It's already something I think about every minute of every day, and we will make sure that we provide updates as we progress with everything.


The material that the clinic gave us on Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) has come in handy. I gave my MIL the packet on IVF w/ ICSI and she's been reading it. I have been asking her if she has any questions. Kind of opening the door for conversations.


It's been really nice to be able to speak openly about it at home.
We're going to be telling just a few of our closest friends soon.


Side note: STILL waiting for AF to get here. I'm looking forward to moving forward with everything.


I'll post again when I have something more substantial to report on. Hope you have a great week. :)

To Tell or Not to Tell? Who to inform.

After our May Day appointment, I told my mom. I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with my mother. My mom is the least obtrusive, inquisitive person you will ever meet. She may be the epitome of social etiquette.  I know she is there for anything I need. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I come from a large family, lots of brothers and I'm the only girl.

We had some struggles in my late teens, mostly me growing up. But I really feel like she's one of the most amazing people that I've ever had the fortune of knowing, and to have her as my mom, what more could anyone ask for?

I called her the afternoon of the appointment. I told her what we know right now. She hasn't told my Dad yet. We finally agreed to bring him in when we had a more full diagnosis. 

This weekend, I spoke with my husband about the possibility of speaking with his mom and telling her. After many broken conversations (where you start a conversation and discuss it here and there) we decided to tell her after we had the results of the hysteroscopy and the removal of the polyp. 

My husband is an only child and he is his mother's whole world. When you are thinking of telling someone, you have to remember that you will be bringing them into your world. They become a part of this journey. They are invested. Updates need to be made and you have to worry how they are handling everything. Telling her is a big deal because she worries so much. I love her so much and we have a great relationship and I don't want to make her worry.

I've been married to my husband for almost 3 years and so much has happened in these past 3 years. Sometimes I think about our ten year anniversary and imagine renewing our vows. Mine would go something like this:
You are my best friend. We've had a tumultuous first 10 years, so many ups and downs and I want the next 30 years to be some of the most boring years. I want time to creep by, and to enjoy our lives in the mundane happiness of every day.

But I digress...We decided to tell her after I have my diagnostic testing and after we have all the facts. 

The issue now is that she's visiting us in the next few weeks. I'm supposed to call the clinic when I get my next period so we can figure out when to schedule the surgery. I'm expected to get my period around the time of her visit, which is also our 3rd year anniversary. Should be an interesting time!

We decided not to tell our closest friends until we tell my husband's mom. We figure the less people know, the less questions we'll be asked. We need to figure out our game plan. 

We're not making any plans for the summer, and are almost being hermits. 
Thinking about our infertility, the treatment, and outcomes, we've got enough on our plates. Deciding on who to tell is an important decision. You will need to do what's right for your personalities. Do you need a constant influx of concern and questions, or do you want to figure things out first, and then bring people up to speed? I think we're somewhere in the middle. 

More to come. God Bless, and have a good week! :)